


Take Care

by TransBoyFanBoy



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Diapers, Fluff, Hamilton - Freeform, I may be experiencing the joy of success, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mental Regression, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other, Thomas Jefferson mentions, am I actually proud of something I wrote?, bottles, ddlb, eventual alex/john/lafayette, eventual caregiver!Lafayette, it might be happening, little!Alexander Hamilton, little!John Laurens, more tags to be added as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-06-09 13:04:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15268101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransBoyFanBoy/pseuds/TransBoyFanBoy
Summary: "You what?""I regress as well.”"Oh... that's cool, I guess."-OR-Alex and John's relationship deepened once they learned about one another's regression, but what happens when their secret is revealed to a certain French baguette?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, it’s my first Hamitlon fic! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it so far.

The first time Hamilton felt as though he truly knew John Laurens was not at the beginning of their friendship. In fact, it took several months, as well as the development of a romantic bond, for him to have a glimpse into Laurens' mind. Of course, there had been the instant connection between the two of them that Alex couldn't quite figure out, as well as the conversations-both deep and casual-they had from the first meeting; Alexander still wasn't able to shake the feeling that his partner was holding back, keeping something important from him. 

In no way did he judge Laurens for keeping things to himself, though. How could he, when Alex himself was holding back sharing a sizable part of his life? With this in mind, he simply let it slip his mind and continued on with his business. 

Hamilton went through the motions, as did Laurens: wake up, work, stress, work some more, and then come home for a much-deserved break. That was where the secrets came into play. Both men's "breaks" came in the form of mental regression and both of them feared that revealing this side of themselves would only end in rejection and sorrow. 

It wasn't until one day, about eight months into their relationship, that the topic of their regression was brought to light. It wasn't a planned conversation in the slightest, either; in reality, the conversation was brought on by Laurens' inability to knock. You can imagine the shock John experienced when he flung the door of Alex's bedroom open, only to see his partner sitting on the floor in a diaper and onesie, surrounded by toys and children's books. Needless to say, little Alexander broke out into sobs immediately and it took half an hour's worth of sweet, gentle coos and reassurances to calm him down enough to form coherent thoughts. 

The conversation that followed did not turn out how either man had thought it would.

"You what?"

"I regress as well," Laurens explained carefully, still conscious of his partner's mental state.

"Oh... that's cool, I guess."

This led into a perfectly awkward silence, until Hamilton had decided to break it and discuss the reasoning behind his regression and the inner workings of "little Alex". 

"I mean, with my mom having died when I was so young and my dad completely abandoning us, I didn't really get the proper childhood experience... I was always taking care of myself. Now that I'm an adult and I have such a stressful job, I've realized that I missed out on what should have been a really great time in my life—I just want that back, you know? Wearing diapers and onesies, playing with toys and stuffed animals, even watching cartoons does that for me. Age regressing does that for me." John, for his part, could completely understand where Alex was coming from.

"I get that. For me, it's more the stress of work and an odd fascination I've always had with baby and children items, but I can understand wanting to get back a part of your life that you missed out on." 

   Alex embraced John and they sat like that for a few long moments, enjoying each other's company and relishing the knowledge that, not only do the two of them accept one another, but that they both understand and experience the same regression. 

   The moment had been broken by John, who pulled away and stood up, motioning for Alex to follow him. Hamilton's curiosity got the best of him in the end, so he trailed closely behind John as he was led into his partner's bedroom. Laurens led him to sit on the bed whilst he dug around in his closet, pulling out a duffel bag and setting it on the carpet in front of his boyfriend's feet. He too, settled onto the floor and patted the space next to him; Alex took the hint and moved to the floor, snuggling into John's side as much as he possibly could.

"This is my little stuff, Alex." John explained himself as he began to unzip the bag. At first glance, the bag's contents seemed relatively normal. A t-shirt and some sweatpants that laid at top of the duffel were quickly moved onto the floor, giving way to more incriminating objects. The first of those had been an eye-catching, pastel green shirt and the next was a baby blue pacifier. 

   As John continued to unpack his bag, he explained what everything meant to him and why he had them. He spent a notably longer time talking about two items in particular: a soft, yellow blanket and a multi-colored dinosaur plushie. Alex had enjoyed watching him gush about his favorite things, loved seeing the way his boyfriend's eyes positively sparkled as he realized that Alexander was listening thoroughly to his words. 

   Soon, Laurens had unpacked the entire bag and they relaxed, surrounded on all sides by the contents that had been pulled out. They decided to clean the items up after a few minutes and went to Alex's room, as he was eager to share his collection of regression items with John, too. 

   Unlike his boyfriend, Alexander kept his little stuff hidden in his bed. He had specifically gone out years earlier to buy a bed that could fold up to reveal secret storage compartments underneath, so that he would always have an adequate hiding spot for his gear. John's eyes widened upon seeing the bed fold up to reveal his partner's regression gear, neatly sorted into the little cubby sections.

 

   Lauren's watched as Alex pointed to each of the sections, telling John what stuff was put where. He pulled out a lot of it, too, and placed the items on the ground so that John could get a closer look. Alex noted that he and John had a few of the same things, though it tended to be that Alex's stuff was more suited for 0-3 year olds, while John's items were decidedly in the 2-5 year age range.

   As the two looked through the items, admittedly playing with some of them, they began to slip into their respective headspaces a bit. The big parts of themselves were still present and ultimately in control, but it seemed they had relented and allowed the little versions of the two to come out and play. Before they were able to play too much, though, a clear and loud knock resounded through the apartment. 

Both men snapped instantly back into the mindsets of adults, the vestiges of headspace falling away and slipping through the cracks in the floorboards. They were able to collect themselves quickly, but not before another, more insistent knock sounded. Alex remembered to close his door before the two of them rushed to the living area and opened the door.

Lafayette. Of course it had been Lafayette.

He was stood there with his hand in midair, clearly about to knock once again. The hand had dropped immediately after registering that there was no longer a door in front of his knuckles, but Alex's face.

"Bonjour, aime les oiseaux!" ("Hello, love birds!")

"Hey Laf, what's brought you here tonight?" Alex tried to be as friendly as possible, though his heart was still racing from the brief thought of getting caught and the suddenness of being snapped into big space. Really, to Alex, he was still on the verge of being found out and ultimately shamed for his coping mechanism. 

"Tonight is Friday, mon ami; we always have dinner together on Fridays." Lafayette stared at the pair, analyzing their behavior-they had never forgotten about their dinners before this night. His eyes narrowed before widening. 

'Were they about to be... intimate..?' Lafayette imagined that was the only possible reason for this dinner to have slipped their minds, especially as they had been discussing dinner plans just the day before.

Alex had flushed, realizing what was probably floating through Laf's mind; he, too, would have gone immediately to that explanation had he not been there himself. In order to move on from the awkward silence that had arisen, John cleared his throat.

"Of course," Laurens mumbled apologetically, "come in and make yourself at home. Alex and I will begin making dinner. Does grilled chicken on rice, with a side of green beans sound alright to you?"

"That sounds wonderful." Lafayette had offered a kind smile to the pair, then settled into his seat and made casual conversation with them throughout dinner.

   On his way out afterwards, Lafayette had quickly decided to use the restroom before venturing back to his own home. As he was washing his hands, his attention was drawn to a bright red object in the corner of the room: a red, rubber ducky sat on the ledge of the tub, a permanent smile painted into the beak.

'How odd..' Lafayette thought. Then, with one final goodbye, he walked out the door.


	2. Chapter One: “Babysitting” and a Movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Chapter 1 completed!!

The door to Hamilton's room was almost never open. 

Whether it be because he was working on an important headline article for the journalism company he worked for, or even something as simple as not wanting to let their newly-adopted kitten get in and tear up literally everything he owned, Alex made sure to keep his bedroom door closed and locked. For this reason, it wasn't surprising for Lafayette when he walked into their apartment the next Friday for dinner to find Alex’s door closed. What was surprising and certainly unexpected, though, were the sounds coming from Alexander's bedroom. Rather than the impossibly quick clacking of keys on Alex's keyboard, laughter-or more specifically, giggling-filled Lafayette's ears. The joyful sounds were weirdly identical to those of a small child's, which had the French man furrowing his brows in confusion and curiosity.

'Alexander and John don't have a child... they must be babysitting tonight.'

The small, innocent sounds ceased suddenly with the ringing of a phone in Hamilton's room. Lafayette moved on after hearing the hushed whispers coming from behind the door, hurrying to the bathroom like he had originally planned.

————————————

Dinner had been interesting, to say the least. The topic of conversation ranged from complaints about work, student loans that had yet to be paid off, to that one, curly-haired dickwad Hamilton worked with—Thomas Jefferson.

That man had been on Alex's shitlist since their first meeting, when Jefferson took the last donut in the break room, an insincere apology spewing from his frosting-covered lips. Hamilton had retaliated by snatching up the best headline story before his rival had the chance to. This had launched them into a head-to-head "battle of wits" in the office. Both men were too stubborn to withdraw, so they continued on, constantly screwing with one another in an attempt to make the other increasingly angry. 

The ball was now in Alexander's court as of that very day, Jefferson having spilt coffee all over himself and blaming it on Alexander when telling their boss what had happened. It had earned Hamilton quite the scolding, but since George liked him, he got out of the ordeal with only a warning. 

Alex had been contemplating his next move with John and Lafayette when a knock sounded from the living area. Laurens walked over and opened the door to find the deliery man standing there with a decently sized package in his hands. John signed off on the package and placed it on the coffee table in the living room, trying to act nonchalant even though he knew that the contents of the box were not something to act casual over. He and Alex had, on a whim, gone to their favorite "little" website to buy more gear, and had ended up spending over $150 on their combined items.

As John walked back to the dinner table and began eating, Lafayette's curiosity got the better of him. 

"What's in the box? Oh, and are you two babysitting tonight? I heard the giggling of a child coming from Alexander's room earlier."

Alex froze at the knowledge that one of his closest friends had heard him in his childish mindset. Still, though, he played it off.

"Oh yeah, we're babysitting for one of my coworkers tonight. She and her husband are going on a date, so we're watching their kid." Alex's excuse was perfectly formed. There were no flaws to his story—or there wouldn't have been, had his partner not spoken at the same time he did. Hamilton's plan was like the toilet paper to John's toilet-it got flushed right down into the sewer system as John spoke.

"No, we aren't babysitting tonight."

Both men turned to each other with nervous expressions on their faces, realizing they were caught in a storm with no way out but through. They went with it.

"Alexander, you didn't tell me we were babysitting tonight. I thought that was next weekend." John continued, prompting Alex to shake his head and put his acting skills to work.

"No, sweetheart, it's definitely this weekend. I could have sworn that I'd told you earlier." 

"Well you were wrong." ((A.N. Please get my references))

"It doesn't matter now, John, I already put him to bed. He shouldn't come out again for the rest of the night." Lafayette watched the couple with a disbelieving look overtaking his features. 

"Okay... So what's in the box?"

This time, Hamilton was the only one who spoke.

"Oh, it's just a bunch of custom shirts I ordered for my company outing. The women in my office seemed to love the idea of matching shirts." 

"Ah, alright then." Lafayette changed the subject with those words and allowed the two men across from him to breathe simultaneous sighs of relief.

   Once dinner had been finished, the three men decided to end the night with a movie and a couple of drinks. They were all off the next day, which meant they could spare a few hours to watch a movie and enjoy one another's company. Much to Hamilton's despair, his boyfriend got to pick their movie for the night. This meant that they would be stuck watching a romantic comedy, rather than Hamilton's pick of a "true crime" movie. Because Lafayette seemed happy with John's selection, Alex chose not to argue and complain about the movie chosen, even though just the title gave away how awful and cliche it would be. 

   As the movie played, Alexander found himself entranced by the bright colors and movement on the screen more so than the actual plot. To anyone else, it would just seem as though Hamilton was really enjoying the movie, but he and Laurens knew exactly what was happening; little Alex was coming out to play, it seemed. The way his hand began to drift ever so slowly up towards his mouth until two fingers were pulling on his bottom lip certainly didn't go unnoticed by Laurens, who sighed under his breath while formulating a game plan. 

   He could always just play the exhaustion card by yawning and faking a few sleepy stretches, but was he really willing to lie yet again to Lafayette and miss the rest of the movie? 

   Yes he was.

   Laurens made a big show of yawning and leaning on Alex for support. The regressed boy looked down to his shoulder, where his partner was resting his head, and booped Laurens' nose, causing the man to scrunch his nose up and wrinkle the skin around his forehead. Once Laurens had managed to get Lafayette's attention, he made as though he was about to fall asleep, letting his head fall a bit, only to jerk himself "awake" a moment later. 

   Lafayette watched on and was unable to keep a soft smile from gracing his features. 

'Laurens is adorable when he's tired. Both of them are.' 

He snapped himself out of his roaming thoughts and cleared his throat loudly.

"Perhaps we should finish this film another night? You seem very tired and I wouldn't want to keep you up any longer than this." Lafayette kindly spoke to Laurens, in a gentle voice that had him feeling considerably small and needy. He coud only manage a measly nod before standing from his spot and making his way over to Lafayette. He helped the French man up and walked him to the door, giving him a hug and wishing him goodnight. 

   He noted afterwards that the hug lasted a bit longer than a normal hug, but he chalked it up to the small feeling in his tummy that had yet to fade. Once Lafayette had gone, Laurens turned his attention back to Alex and stamped down his urge to slip. His first priority was  getting a sleepy-looking little Alex to his bedroom and into some more age appropriate clothing for sleep. 

Getting the tired boy up and to his room was simple enough, but once he began to fuss at being changed into a diaper and pajamas, John found that it was more challenging than he'd originally anticipated. Alex seemed drained, even while small, but he was still managing to cry out for John and make small, whimpering noises for attention. The poor boy was so deeply regressed and he had no idea why, but everything around him became suddenly too confusing and big for him. All he could do was cry some more while Laurens scooped him up and held him in his lap, rocking from side to side while softly singing.

"Dear Alexander, what to say to you  
You are so brave, my precious little guy.  
When you came into my life, you smiled and it filled my heart.  
I'm celebrating every day with you  
My handsome man, intelligent and sweet  
Precious child, I love you with all my heart  
You are a work of art  
There will come a day when we'll be facing a challenge, maybe two  
But we will push on through  
You and I have built a strong foundation  
And my love for you will always shine bright too  
And that is how we'll stay  
Someday, someday  
Yeah, I know we'll be okay  
Baby, baby"

Looking down, Laurens found Alexander breathing evenly and quietly in his arms. Getting comfortable and laying back in bed with his partner cuddled to him, he hummed out a noise of contentment and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, my dearest Alexander."


	3. Chapter Two: Bliss and Breakdowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Laurens are the textbook definition of domestic bliss and Alex gets an unpleasant, surprise visit from someone that no one wants to see.

   The next day at work started exactly as Alex had thought it would. A meeting was held in the morning to check up on everyone's articles and how they were progressing;Hamilton obviously took the meeting as an opportunity to boast about how far he'd gotten with his already, turning and smirking pointedly at Jefferson, who sat across the table and silently fumed to himself.  
   Going back to his desk after the meeting, he continued on as normal, typing away on his worn down keyboard, as if he would die at any moment and the only way to stop it was to finish the article. He'd stopped reluctantly to take a restroom break and once he came back, he was greeted with a cubicle full of packing peanuts and a cardboard box taped to either side of the partition, being used to keep the peanuts from spilling into Jefferson's work space. Alex's eye twitched as he surveyed the scene before stomping over to his rival's desk. There Thomas sat, hardly containing giggles behind his hand while pretending to be hard at work.

"Jefferson, you're an actual child and you're going to clean all of this up. Really, I would have thought you'd be more mature with your pranks at this point; this is the work of an amateur." Thomas looked up from his computer and to Alex smugly.

"Amateur or not, it provoked a response from you so I'd consider it a success. Don't think that I don't see your eye twitching, Hamilton."

"Shut up, Jefferson, and start cleaning."

————————————

   Hamilton arrived home that night absolutely steaming. Not only did his boss not make Jefferson clean the packing peanuts that he put in Alex's cubicle, he had the gall to actually laugh at the childish stunt. His exact words to Alex upon finding out what Thomas did were "Alexander, don't act like a child-just pick up the mess yourself and get back to work."      
    Hamilton had done just that, holding back the urge to argue with George until his throat was raw, but that didn't mean he couldn't grumble to himself about how unfair it was the entire time.   
    As he entered their living area, he found his wonderful boyfriend sitting on the couch, snuggled under a blanket while the tv played some god awful romance movie. Laurens looked up when he heard the door shut and paused the movie, greeting his partner.

"Welcome home, Alex. Cuddle with me?" The last thing Hamilton wanted to do right now was sit through an hour and a half of cliché, overdone plot points and terrible acting, but the spot next to John did look incredibly comfortable and he knew he wouldn't be able to refuse an opportunity to be close with his boyfriend. With this in mind, the young journalist shuffled over to the couch and plopped down next to John, wrapping himself around the other man and pulling them to lay down so he could spoon Laurens.   
      They got comfortable in that position and mindlessly watched tv for a few minutes, Alex zoning out and beginning to play with his partner's hair. The curls mesmerized him, and though he couldn't run his fingers through them without pulling John's hair and unintentionally hurting him, he could still pet the other's head and gently scratch at his head with short nails. It was an action that always seemed to relax his boyfriend and tonight was no exception. As soon as Alex had started petting down Laurens' hair, his tensed shoulders dropped and he nuzzled back into his love's hand. Alex smiled as John paused the movie and turned to face him, still smoothing down the hair on his head as much as possible.   
     A curly lock of hair had fallen into John's face, so Alex brushed it away while admiring his boyfriend's beautiful freckles, his deep brown eyes that somehow resembled an ocean, and the soft smile on his lips as Alex continued he movement of his hand on John's head. He leaned in to peck Laurens on the cheek, then moved to his nose, and finally, he placed a gentle and innoceny kiss to the other's lips. They stayed like that for a moment before pulling away, enjoying the sweetness one another's presence. Laurens buried his head into Alex's chest and breathed in deeply, the last bit of tension leaving his body.   
     It was in that moment, when they had completely forgotten about the movie and gotten lost in being together, that their kitten hopped up onto their couch and crawled on top of them, letting out a tiny meow for attention. Both men laughed lightly and they separated, laying the cat between them and petting her soft fur. She purred loudly compared to other cats they had known in the past, but they didn't mind. They just stayed cuddled on the couch with a sleeping ball of fluff between them, savoring the time they were getting with each other to just be. There were no thoughts of revenge in Alex's mind, only Laurens. They smiled once again at one another and giggled quietly before Laurens stood and ventured to the kitchen to begin making dinner.   
     They were the picture of domestic bliss at this point and both were happy to be able to share these little moments without others to interrupt. It seems that they could never get times like this, when it was just the two of them talking and laughing like old times and they cherished chance they got to have them.  
     A quiet dinner turned into another lovely bout of snuggling, before Laurens yawned and rubbed his eyes. Alex wished him a goodnight before turning on the fan and switching the light off, taking himself and his book to his own room.   
     He got lost in the words he read and before he knew it, it was just past one in the morning. Just as he went to flip off his own light and hit the hay, he heard a quiet knock coming from the living room. Sighing and wondering who could possibly need something from him this late at night, he wandered into the living room and opened the door, furrowing his brows as he stared at the stranger in the hall.

"Hello, you're Alexander Hamilton, aren't you?" Alex looked at the man suspiciously before answering."

"Yes, and you are?"

"My name is James A. Hamilton." The name sounded incredibly familiar to Hamilton, and not just because of the last name. He couldn't exactly place where he'd heard of him before, though.

"You seem to be confused," the man, James, spoke again, "allow me to clear things up. My names is James A. Hamilton, husband of Rachel Faucette Buck and father of Alexander Hamilton." All traces of confusion left Hamilton's face, as did the color in his cheeks. All he felt now was anger, hurt, and betrayal.   
     He'd heard stories about his father from his mother before she died. She'd told him about how sweet he was to her in the beginning, and about how things had gotten far less than sweet after a few months. She told about her hope for him to change, her marriage that she'd been pressured into by not only James himself, but her parents and family as well. The last story she'd told Alexander before her death was the story of his birth—how angry James was at the news that he was to be a father before he was ready, and how he left Rachel in the delivery room by herself, with no hand to hold. He'd never come back, just allowed her to deal with the excruciating pain of having a child by herself. As Alex grew up, he figured that it was better that way, though, with how abusive he was and would have become.  
     Now here he was at Alex's door, the man who had abandoned them, standing proudly in the doorway as though he isn't talking to the son he never got to meet. He couldn't even look at James right now without feeling an intense urge to deck him, so he slams the door and goes back to bed. Maybe James will get the hint and leave him alone.

————————————

   No luck. 

   Alexander had no luck, apparently, as when he opened the door to his apartment the next morning as he was leaving for work, he saw James laying on the floor, sleeping soundly. Hamilton slammed the door loudly, causing the older man to wake up and stretch. When he noticed Alex standing above him, he stood and began talking.

"Alexander, please just take a moment to listen to me. I know that what I did to your mother and you was wrong, but you must understand where I was coming from. I wasn't ready to be a father-" Alex saw red.

"And she wasn't ready to be a mother! She was just as young and scared as you, but she never once laid a hand on you or me as you did to her. If you think I'm some sort of naive idiot who will just see my father, who I've never met by the way, standing at my doorstep and begging for forgiveness or money or whatever it is you want and just forgive him, you're gravely mistaken. No such thing will be happening; I don't need you. I've made my own life and my own success, I didn't need your help to do it and you didn't need mine apparently. Whatever you need now is irrelevant to me, whether it be a relationship with me or financial help, or anything else. You're nothing to me and you need to leave right now before I call the police."

   His father stared dejectedly at him before walking off, shaking his head and muttering to himself. 

   Alex left for work, arriving late and going straight to his cubicle. He sighed, then sat down at his desk and let everything pile up on the forefront of his mind. Everything he had said was completely true: he didn't need James. So why, then, did he feel so bad about it? These thoughts flooded his mind and it took him a few minutes to register that tears were rolling down his face, quiet whimpers escaping his mouth every now and then. This realization only made him cry harder, letting out a sob and making a few of his coworkers jump at the sudden noise.   
     Jefferson sat on the other side of the partition, working diligently, until he heard a loud sob that echoed through the office. He peeked over the cubicle wall and his eyes immediately widened when he saw his rival sitting at his desk, hunched over and outright balling with his face hidden behind his hands. He stood after a moment of contemplating what to do and walked over to Hamilton's desk. He wasn't a complete asshole and something about Hamilton at the moment made Jefferson feel a strong urge to get him out of this situation and help him. He turned Alex's swiveling chair around and uncovered the man's face, revealing an unglorious sight. Alex had tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy. Snot was coming out of his nose as he desperately tried to wipe it away, only succeeding in making everything worse.   
     
   Jefferson looked into Hamilton's eyes before speaking softly.

"Hamilton, follow me to the restroom right now, okay? We need to get you out of here and cleaned up." All Hamilton could do was comply as more heart-wrenching sobs erupted from his mouth.

   Once reaching the employee bathrooms, Jefferson pulled Hamilton in and thanked whatever deity may exist that it was empty before locking the door. Quietly, he pulled Hamilton over to the sinks and gathered some napkins, wetting them and gently dabbing at his face with them to clean it. Hamilton was still crying steadily, but his sobs were turning into whimpers at this point. Once his face had been cleaned as much as possible at that moment, Jefferson pulled Alex into his arms and embraced him tightly.   
     They stayed like that for a long time as Alex worked to calm himself down, Jefferson having moved to sit down on the floor of the restroom and hope that they had been cleaned recently. He whispers reassurances into Alex's ear as his crying finally subsided and he took his head out of Jefferson's shoulder.   
     His face lit up like a firetruck as he realized that he had just broken down during work, and that he had sobbed into his enemy's chest as he reassured him that everything would be okay. Alex said nothing for a while, but soon muttered a meek "thank you", to which Jefferson just nodded.

"Now, I'm not even going to ask what that was about because it's none of my business. I think that you should go home for the day, though; I'll talk to Washington, alright?" Alex nodded silently, wiping his face of another stray tear.

"I'm going to call Laurens right now if you'll give me your phone. You're certainly in no state to drive and I am sure he would be glad to come pick you up." Once again, Alex nodded. He handed Thomas his phone after unlocking it, listening as Jefferson talked to his partner.

"...Yeah, he had a bit of a breakdown. It would be great if you could come pick him up... don't worry about that, I'm going to talk to Washington myself... no problem. See you then, bye." Jefferson handed Alex his phone after the call was ended and Alex slipped it into his pockets as he thought about the morning's events.   
     Hamilton was feeling a bit off and he knew exactly what it was. It seemed that breaking down like he had and being comforted during it, had made him drop into headspace. Now, it wasn't to the point where he couldn't control himself; he definitely still could hide it. He just felt smaller, especially standing given that Jefferson was still standing next to him as he waited for Laurens to get here and pick him up. Thomas towered over him and made him feel tiny—the fact that he also felt the need to watch after Hamilton in order to make sure he was alright until his boyfriend arrived certainly didn't help him stay big, either.   
     By the time Laurens pulled up to the building and got out to rush over to Alex, the young journalist was fidgeting restlessly and curling in on himself involuntarily to make himself appear smaller.   
     
     One look at Alex and John knew what was happening. Even if he hadn't known, Alex speaking would have confirmed it.

"J-John, wan' go home now.. pwease.." Alex mumbled, trying to keep his volume low enough that only John could hear him. He didn't do a great job and Jefferson raised an eyebrow in interest, but turned to John and thanked him for picking Alex up.

"No, thank you for helping him out. You have no idea how much I appreciate it." Jefferson just brushed it off and told him it was no problem.   
     Alex whined quietly from his spot next to Laurens, causing both men to chuckle and say their goodbyes. John put Alex into the backseat of the car, buckled him in, and they headed back towards home. 

     They certainly had a lot to talk about once Alex was big again.


	4. Chapter 3: Truces and Bubbas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 3,002

   The ride home from Hamilton's office building was relatively quiet, only the occasional sniffle from Alex and the soft music playing over the radio disrupting the silence. John glanced back at the regressed boy every once in a while to check on him, each time seeing him with a permanent pout on his lips and dried tear tracks down his cheeks. How the boy managed the pout around his own thumb, John had no idea, but there was no denying the innocent beauty of the action.  
   Still, though, John knew that as soon as his boy was big again, they would need to sit down and discuss what exactly had caused his breakdown. Laurens had asked Thomas if he knew anything, but the man had simply shaken his head and ruffled Alex's hair sympathetically.

"Whatever it was," Jefferson had stated gently, "it screwed him up pretty badly. He wasn't in good shape when I got to him." 

   So yes, the two men definitely needed to talk, but there was no chance of getting the little guy to reveal anything in this state. Besides, John would never want to put Alex in that position when he was small. Their conversation would just have to wait.

—————————————

   John had no idea just how long he'd have to wait. 

   After the incident, John had taken his boyfriend home with the idea that he would be "big" again after a few hours. He should have known that after an experience as traumatizing as the one Alex must have gone through, that that wouldn't be the case. The boy remained regressed throughout the rest of the day, even waking up the next morning feeling tiny and needy. Of course John was there to help him through it (by spoiling him with affection and literally anything else his lovely boyfriend wanted), but he had begun to worry about just how bad what had happened was. He had called into Hamilton's office and told them that Alex would be taking the day off to recover from the episode before calling into his own office, then proceeded to spend the rest of their day curled up on the couch with one another, watching all of little Alex's favorite shows and movies.

   Hamilton finally ended up coming out of headspace that evening. Laurens noticed immediately that his partner was no longer small, so he took a moment to let him adjust before clearing his throat and sitting up. 

"Alex, we're going to need to have a chat about what happened."

"John, I-" 

"I know it's uncomfortable, but it needs to be done. I'm here for you the whole time. Just tell me what happened."

And Alex did tell John what happened. He left no detail out if he could recall it, so he went through the whole thing—James coming back to ask for money, then sleeping on the floor outside their apartment to confront Alex again the morning of his breakdown—the entire story was told as Alex got teary-eyed once again. John sat and listened through the whole story, fists clenching in anger towards James while, at the same time, his heart dropped down to his stomach upon realizing what Alex had gone through, all by himself.

   Finally, as his story came to a close, John pulled his love close once again, petting his hair and whispering soft reassurances into his ears. They spent the rest of the night like that before laying down and falling asleep on the couch.

—————————————

   They awoke with the rise of the sun the next morning, both groaning and stretching out their backs, hearing and feeling the cracking they made at the actions. Both men were slow to rise, but with the realization that they both had work again today, they sprang up and headed to shower and complete their morning routines. With a quick peck and a sweet 'I love you' to John, Alex headed out of the apartment building and caught a cab to his office, as he had left his own car there the other day. 

   Hamilton strode into the building with false confidence, greeting his coworkers kindly and setting himself up at his desk again. He was avoiding Jefferson for as long as possible due to the embarrassment of both crying and slipping into headspace in front of him, but he understood deep down that he would have to face the other man and thank him properly for all of his help. 

   The perfect opportunity to thank him presented itself far sooner than Hamilton hoped it would. Nonetheless, he shuffled over to Jefferson as he sat in the break room, enjoying his meal and scrolling through some mystery website on his cellphone. Alex hung back for a moment and Jefferson noticed him, glancing up from his phone to see that the shadow over him was being caused by Hamilton himself. He raised an eyebrow to the other man as if to ask, 'can I help you?', but the other eyebrow shot up as he took in Hamilton's body language. It all screamed "frightened, meek boy" rather than the usual "overly-confident, self-righteous man". Thomas took pity on the guy and gestured for Alex to take a seat, which the man did with no question, fidgeting with his fingers anxiously.

"What is it, Hamilton?" Jefferson tried to sound annoyed, but it was obvious to both of them that there was no actual fire behind his words.

With a hesitance unbefitting of the shorter man's normal personality, Hamilton spoke.

"I wanted to come and thank you for helping me through my, uh... breakdown, the other day. It was very kind of you and you certainly didn't have to do what you did, so thanks. I really appreciate it. Oh, and thank you for calling John, too;I never would have been able to do that by myself. My bad for putting you out like that." Hamilton's face lit up like a Christmas tree as he finished his spiel, never once having been able to look Jefferson in the eyes during it.

   Thomas smiled gently and even affectionately-though he'd never admit it-at the young man in front of him, chuckling slightly and telling Hamilton to look at him.

"It wasn't a problem, Hamilton. We have our differences, yes, but that doesn't mean that I won't help you if you need it. This wasn't anything you needed to thank me for, either, and definitely not something to apologize for. It made me feel good to help you out, okay? There's no need to apologize for that."

Alex stared up at the curly-haired man in a sort of awe, unable to comprehend that this was the man he had been squabbling with since the beginning of his career. He seemed so much nicer than those times and Hamilton took a moment to consider that he may have misjudged Jefferson, after all. 

Alex nodded and thanked Thomas once again before exiting the break room. 

————————————————

Since that day, there had been a certain truce called between the two men at the office; neither of them continued to screw with the other and on the rare occasion that they did, the intent behind the joke was not malicious. Things at the office had been winding down for Hamilton. 

Alex left the office Friday night with a grin on his face and a skip in his step. He was off for the weekend and hadn't felt this good in what seemed like ages. Really, it had only been a few days since the episode with James, but it felt far from Hamilton's mind. He raced home eagerly to see his partner and to prepare for dinner with Lafayette. It had been a week since they had last caught up, which means there was a lot that the French man had missed out on. 

As he waltzed into the apartment, he threw his shoulder bag down onto the nearest couch and ran into the kitchen, giving John an affectionate peck on the cheek upon finding him. The two men talked as they prepared supper, discussing work and current events; it was a peaceful experience that the couple was grateful for.

A knock sounded as they finished putting the dish into the oven, John leaving to greet Lafayette as his boyfriend stayed back and cleaned up the cooking utensils. He set the table as Lafayette walked into the living area, happily chatting away with Laurens as they settled down on the couches. Dusting off his hands, Alex joined the other two men in the living room, snuggling up next to John on the loveseat. 

"Bonne soirée mon ami!" ("Good evening, my friend!") Lafayette turned his attention to Alex, to which the shorter man smiled and greeted him back.

They made small talk for the next short while, discussing work and the like. One topic that was avoided, however, was James's unplanned visit. Laurens knew that his love couldn't handle talking about that yet, even though he had been doing so well the past few days. One small slip up by Alex, though, brought that exact topic to light. 

"... Yeah, work has been so much different this week. I took a couple days off of work, which I would never usually do, but I felt so much better after going back." Hamilton had yet to notice his words, but John tensed up immediately. Lafayette, not knowing better, tried to satisfy his curiosity.

"You took time off, Alexander? Why is that?"

This time, it was Alex's turn to freeze. He went absolutely rigid, as if just registering what had come out of his mouth. He sat there for a few moments, desperately floundering for an excuse believeable enough as to why he, of all people, would have stayed home from work. He couldn't come up with anything; he looked over at John for help, but the other man was just as lost as Hamilton. He had taken too long to answer. At this point, the only option was truth—nothing else that either of them could say would be believeable to the Marquis.

With a stutter, he began to explain the events of the past week to Lafayette. At some point, tears started rolling steadily down his cheeks, which he rushed to wipe away with his hands. The French man told him he could stop speaking about it once noticing the boy's tears, but Alex couldn't focus on anything other than his own words as he spoke. He couldn't even feel John's comforting hand rubbing his back, or his thumb gently wiping away the tears that Alex himself missed.

   Soon, the words spewing from Alex's mouth became incomprehensible and jumbled, his sobs overtaking his ability to speak. Both the man's boyfriend and their friend adjusted their positions in order to give Alex the physical comfort that he so obviously needed. They cuddled in close as the boy continuously wailed, throwing himself into headspace in the blink of an eye. 

   "B-bubba..." Alexander whispered brokenly to John as he made desperate grabby hands for the man.

   There was no mistaking the word for anything else. 

   Lafayette grew confused upon hearing the word, and even more so once seeing Hamilton's actions. He watched curiously as John pulled the boy into his lap, rocking him back and forth while whispering murmuring softly to him. John's own words couldn't be made out by Lafayette, as he was speaking so quietly to the other man—man? Alex hardly resembled a man right now, Lafayette mused. He more closely mirrored a scared child, if anything. It was as fascinating as it was odd for Lafayette to see the young journalist like this; such vulnerability was rarely witnessed by anyone, let alone Marquis himself.

   Whatever this was, Lafayette considered himself privileged to be able to experience it. He watched on as John successfully, but slowly, calmed the man down. Hamilton wasn't asleep, but he certainly was drowsy from all of that crying he did. John turned to Lafayette to see a gentle smile on his face, then nodded in the direction of Alex's bedroom. 

"I'm going to take him to his room for a short nap—he really seems to need it."

   Lafayette nodded in understanding, slightly disappointed that Alex wouldn't be joining them for dinner, but knowing that a nap was best for him at that moment. He sat on the couch for a few minutes as John dragged a sleepy Alex to his room, undoubtedly helping him get ready and into bed. 

   He returned several minutes later, shooting Lafayette an apologetic look.

"I'm so sorry about that, Laf. He's been doing really well the past few days, I guess he just wasn't ready to talk about it yet."

"It is I that should apologize," Lafayette said, "I was being too curious and I am sorry." Laurens shook his head and waved his hand dismissively.

"Don't worry about it, you can't help your curiosity."

   Neither man spoke of the word that Hamilton had uttered in his distressed state; Lafayette figured it was none of his business, while John was fearful that if he brought it up, he would be setting Alex up for a harsh rejection of his small side.

   They slowly got back into normal conversation, which continued all the way through dinner. Alex had woken up at some point while they were eating, shuffling out into the kitchen to grab himself a plate before scurrying back into his own room. If Hamilton was honest with himself, he was terrified that he would lose a friend if the French man found out about his regression. He was utterly humiliated at showing that side of himself to the other man and figured that avoiding him until the next week would be easier than talking to him.

   John and Marquis watched Hamilton retreat back into his room sadly, finishing up their food and bringing their conversations to an end. Before leaving, though, Lafayette feels the need to speak to Alexander and assure him that everythin is alright. He tells John that he will be back before heading to Alex's room, knocking on the door and waiting a moment before entering. Alex was sitting on his bed, reading a book that Lafayette was sure was beyond anything he could comprehend if he tried. 

   He cleared his throat and Alex looked at him, expecting John. Seeing Laf instead of his partner, he immediately averted his gaze to the floor, cheeks flushing. He bit the tip of his thumb anxiously as Lafayette moved to sit by him on Hamilton's bed. The curly-haired man said nothing for a few moments, waiting to see if Alex would look up at him. He didn't, so Laf took the first step.

"Alexander, look at me please." His voice was both gentle and stern at the same time, making Alex whine in the back of his throat before forcing his head up to meet Lafayette's eyes.

   Hamilton expected to be met with judgement for his display earlier, but all he found upon looking into Laf's eyes was acceptance and something else that, even if he couldn't quite place it, made him feel surprisingly safe and reassured. Lafayette spoke once he was sure that Alex's attention was on him.

"I want you to know that I have no negative judgements about what happened earlier. I understand that what you went through with James was horrendous and possibly even traumatizing for you. After everything that he has done, it is only natural that you would respond that way to seeing him once again. You needed to get those tears out, mon chéri ("my darling"), so that you can grow to overcome this." Alex's lip wobbled at his kind words, blinking quickly to keep his unshed tears from falling.

"Do you understand what I am saying, mon chéri?" Hamilton nodded his head quickly, overcome with emotion for what must've been the three hundredth time that night.

Lafayette embraced Alex into a tight, comfortable hug; they hugged for a short time before pulling away, both men smiling at one another. Lafayette cleared away the hair from Alex'a face and tucked it behind the man's ears, nodding resolutely.

Alex thought to himself that maybe this wasn’t the kind of person he should be afraid of finding out; tonight had clearly indicated that Lafayette was going to stick by him, being a non-judgemental support system whenever Alex needed him. He wasn’t going to say that he wanted Laf to know about his small side, persay, just that he could understand that Lafayette would most likely stay by Alex’s side if he were to find out. It was a comforting thought, really, but that was all it was at this point. It was just a comforting thought to soothe Hamilton’s doubts and insecurities.

Both men stood up from their spots on the bed, Alex taking off in front of Laf to open the door and lead him out into the living area. John was sat with his face buried in his phone, eyebrows furrowed in concentration until he noticed the looming presence of the other two men in the room. He smiled and waved, standing to walk Lafayette to the door.

The three men said their goodbyes, the French man thanking John and Alex for the “delicious meal” and the other two assuring him that it was their pleasure. With one final farewell, John closed the door and turned to his love, kissing him gently and pulling him along to his own room.

“Sleep in my bed tonight?” John asked Hamilton, who beamed and nodded animatedly, practically soaring through the air as he skipped to John’s room.

Alex dug through John’s closet for something to sleep in, which decidedly was John’s favorite t-shirt. It smelt just like the other man, a calming mixture of gingerbread and vanilla. He quickly climbed into bed, snuggling up next to John as he closed his eyes.

‘What if he does find out?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3,000 words, finally!! I’m sorry that it has taken so long for me to update, but I haven’t been the best in terms of mental health lately, which has caused me to become unmotivated. I’m working on getting better now, so hopefully my motivation will rise and I will want to write more. Anywho, I hope you enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 4: Confrontations and Caretaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James comes back into the picture for a hot second, and Alex has a bad time. He slips, naturally, and a confused Lafayette cares for him.

Eight days after Alex's breakdown at dinner, he and Lafayette went out for brunch at a café across town from John and Hamilton's apartment. It was a quaint, cozy little building; tables with pastel umbrellas decorated the sidewalk in front of it, and Alex thought it looked like a place he could come to concentrate on writing his articles for work.

When they walked inside, Alex noticed the small, polished wood tables scattered around the room. He looked around as they waited in line to order, noting all of the adorable posters and decorations lining the walls. He continued observing the comfortable setting until it was their turn to order. 

Lafayette went first, then Alex; after paying, they waited patiently for their drinks and food. A couple of minutes later, an employee called them up and they shuffled to the counter to collect their items. One glance around the café let them know that there would be no room for them inside; the two men quickly exited and picked a table next to the café's large window. The table they sat at was shaded by a soft green umbrella, and the wind blew through it just perfectly, keeping both of them cool and content. 

They made small talk as they ate. Lafayette cracked jokes every once in a while, and went on a rant about his job. Alex responded by telling Lafayette about his truce with Jefferson, to which Lafayette congratulated him. Lafayette was in the middle of telling his friend about his hopes of getting a promotion when someone approached them, effectively blocking the light leaking in from under the umbrella, before the person cleared their throat.

"Alexander." James spoke heatedly.

Alex glanced up at his name and froze for a moment, recognizing his father instantly. He stood after his shock wore off, hands shaking visibly as he clutched the edge of the table. Lafayette quickly pieced together the situation; he was about to stand, but his friend spoke before he could.

"What are you doing here? We already discussed this—I'm not giving you money. You abandoned us, and you no longer deserve a place in this family." Lafayette's mouth fell open in surprise as James staggered back, acting as though the words had physically wounded him.

   James seemed to recover after a brief pause before his face reddened in rage. When he spoke, he spoke with conviction.

"I would never have abandoned your mother had she simply listened to me when I told her not to have you! You are the reason the family got so fucked up! You ungrateful little—"

A swift slap was delivered to his face.

   Alex reeled back in upset, staring at Lafayette's now pink, burning hand. Tears flooded his eyes at his father's cruel words, and Lafayette wanted nothing more than to pull his friend into a tight hug to let the other know that he would be safe.

   Instead, he reached out and took James by the collar of his shirt. He had a cruel smirk on his face, but Lafayette could sense the fear radiating off of the smaller man. Lafayette hardly recognized his own voice when he spoke.

"You do not have the right to say something like that to your own child. It does not matter what you came for, or even why you left him and his mother to fend for themselves; all that matters right now is that you get the hell out of my sight before I do something I regret later on. I want you to leave Alex's life, and I want you to leave this town. The citizens here do not take very kindly to abusive, absentee fathers."

   Lafayette let go of the man's shirt and tried to calm his expression before he looked at his friend. James stumbled over his feet as he turned and bolted in the opposite direction, but the French man hardly noticed anything other than Alex's broken eyes that were releasing tears at a steady rate. The man, who hardly resembled an adult at the moment (he was more comparable to a small child with his wide, glossy eyes), was staring at the spot his father had occupied just moments before as he cried with enough force to send his entire body into shudders. 

Lafayette hastily pulled his friend into a warm, comforting hug; he petted Alex's hair as he softly whispered in his ear. The man's heaving sobs continued for far too long before dying down, until finally he wiped the last of his tears off of his face and stared up at Lafayette. Said man gave Hamilton peck on the top of his head before suggesting that they begin heading back to Alex's apartment.

Alex let himself be led through the streets by Laf, keeping his head down in order to avoid judging stares from passerby's; he was sure that everyone else knew he had been crying from his puffy, red eyes and his runny nose. He stayed silent as they walked, though he did lean slightly into his taller companion for support. He felt himself slipping rapidly and helplessly, and he figured that he should stay quiet as to not alert Lafayette of anything unusual. 

Soon, they arrived at Hamilton's apartment building; the walk there had given the boy a good chance to calm down, and he had admired the last of the red and orange leaves blowing through the streets, signalling the last days of Autumn. However, he couldn't shake the small feeling nagging at him; he could feel the edges of his regression space creeping up on him. His first reaction to seeing the leaves in the street was to want to jump on them to hear a pleasant crunch, but he remembered that Laf was with him before he went through with it. 

They meandered inside and to the elevator, riding up to Alex and John's floor in a peaceful hush, Alex still leaning on Lafayette's shoulder; now, though, the gesture was more so to help Alex quell his "little" feelings by making him feel smaller. The French man, upon noticing this continued action, simply smiled fondly and ruffled his friend's hair. Alex had worn it down today, and his hair framed his face beautifully, making him look like a fragile, porcelain doll ((not the creepy kind)).

Once they arrived on Alex's floor, they trudged down the hall; the earlier events had left both men feeling exhausted. Alex was ready to get changed into clothes befitting of his mental age and then spend the rest of the day cuddling on the couch with John as they watched cartoons. He soon realized, however, that his partner had been scheduled to work today.

   Sometimes, Alex really disliked his love's job. Don't get him wrong, he loved that John got to follow his dream of being a social worker, and he supported John all the way because he knew his partner adored being able to help families in need. There were times, though, that Hamilton got sad that John worked in the field he did; for one thing, it can be hazardous. That was always a concern. Yet, the reason he felt so conflicted about his lover's career was that he often worked weekends and late nights.  On those days and evenings, Alex found himself feeling loneliness in buckets until Laurens arrived home to be showered with his boyfriend's affections.

   He wanted John with him; with the realization that his partner would likely not be home for hours, Alex whimpered. 

"Aw, it will be alright, mon ami," Lafayette gently cooed at his shorter friend, "Everything will be okay."

   The man asked Alex for his keys and unlocked the door once he had them. He noticed how eerily quiet it was in the apartment, and realized what must have been the problem for Alex.

"It's okay, Alexander; John will be home before you know it!" His companion let out another, disbelieving whimper at his words.

"Okay, how about if I stay here with you until Laurens comes back? Would you like that?" Alex nodded fervently into Lafayette's shoulder and mumbled something that the French man couldn't understand.

"What was that, mon chéri?" Alex huffed, but took his head off of Lafayette's shoulder and spoke again.

"Stay..." 

   His voice was so uncharacteristically soft and high-pitched; he had a bit of a lisp when he spoke, as well, which made Lafayette furrow his brows, feeling puzzled. Still, he couldn't deny that it made him sound innocent and absolutely precious, and his friend obviously needed him to be there right now... he decided to let it go for the moment.

   Laf remembered that this wasn't the first time Alex had acted strange around him recently, or even that he'd seen unusual things around his flat ('like those rubber duckies,' he recalled). He knew that there was something going on, but he figured that his friends would discuss it with him if they ever felt comfortable enough to. Because of this, he never tried to pry or further look into the matter.

   He slowly led Alex over to the couch, letting him sit down and take his shoes off before he handed him the remote. The boy stared at the remote with the smallest hint of a pout on his lips. He was confused as to why Alex simply sat there with the remote in his hand, but he took it from him again and switched the tv on; he watched the boy's reactions as he flipped through the channels, and he didn't stop until he saw his friend perk up. When he looked to the tv screen, he became even more bewildered; a children's show—not one that the French man knew as he had no kids—was displayed on the screen. 

   Vivid, bright colors danced around on the television as lively music played in the background. The show looked somewhat older, and a bright blue dog pranced around with its owner, going on what seemed like a treasure hunt. 

   He focused his attention on the show for a bit, but did nothing else until he heard a small giggle come from his left. He whipped his head in Alex's direction immediately, and sure enough, he was tittering and clapping from his spot childishly. He looked elated, possibly more than Lafayette had ever seen before. He couldn't help but coo at the older man and sit next to him, smiling enthusiastically.

"Do you like this show, Alexander?" Said boy turned to his friend at his name, then giggled more and nodded before he pointed at the screen.

"Is Bwue's Clues, GiGi!" (("Gilbert")) 

   Lafayette had to bite back a sound of complete awe upon hearing the adorable nickname he had just been given. 

"Oh? I see that, Alex! Who's your favorite character?" Alex quickly moved from the couch to the floor in front of the tv, pointing at the blue dog who Lafayette could only assume was Blue. 

"That's very nice, mon chérie!" Alex flushed slightly at the caring, gentle voice Lafayette was using; he knew that there was no way he could force himself to be big now.

The regressed man crawled back over to the couch, settling himself in front of Lafayette and looking up at him with a wide grin. Lafayette pretended not to notice the boy for a moment, but he chuckled fondly and turned to him when, in response, Alex pouted and tugged on the French Man's pant leg. 

"Yes, Alexander?" Alex smiled again once he had his friend's attention and promptly stuck his index and middle fingers in his mouth so that he could chew on them.

With his unoccupied hand, Hamilton reached up for Lafayette, quietly babbling. Laf gave Alex one of his hands, but used his other to remove Alex's hand from his mouth. 

"That was incredibly cute, but it is dirty to chew on your fingers, mon ami." Alex huffed quietly, but he forgot all about his displeasure once Lafayette began running his fingers through the boy's soft hair.

He leaned into the touch, one hand traveling back up to his mouth and his thumb firmly planting itself in his mouth as he suckled on it lightly; his friend thought about saying something again, but he figured that Alex's hand would still find his mouth no matter how many times Lafayette corrected him.

'Plus, it is too adorable to see him so content and invested in this show.' Lafayette thought with an affectionate smile.

————————————————

Soon, the French man heard a grumble come from beneath him. He looked down to find Alex staring at his stomach with a frown. Then, he turned to his friend and pouted, mumbling something behind his thumb.

"What was that, Alex?" Said boy whined quietly this time and pointed to his stomach.

"Tummy growlin'.. hungwy.." He slurred around his hand.

"You're hungry? That's right, you never got to finish your food earlier! Would you like me to make you a snack?" The boy nodded eagerly and toddled after Lafayette as the man waltzed into the kitchen area and to the pantry. 

Lafayette found a surprisingly bare pantry, so he moved to the fridge; the situation there was not much better, and it was obvious that they needed to do some shopping soon. However, he did manage to find some strawberries, grapes, blackberries, raspberries, and other various fruits in the refrigerator. He pulled all of them out and placed them on the counter next to a banana he found sitting on the island overlooking the kitchen. 

When he looked through the cabinets for something to place the fruits in, he came across a set of brightly-colored bowls and pulled them down from the shelf. He looked at them and noticed the cartoonish patterns on each one, and he figured that they were kid bowls. He was expectedly confused, but he figured that they would probably be the best option for Alex right now. With that though in his mind, he settled on a bowl decorated with puppies all over it and grabbed a knife before slicing up the bananas and strawberries into smaller pieces.

Once he had finished preparing them, he placed them all into the bowl and rummaged around in the drawers for utensils. Finally, he opened the drawer that contained forks and spoons; alongisde the normal, mental utensils were more plastic and soft-tipped ones that appeared to be for infants and toddlers. Again, he chose the softer ones for the regressed boy; he couldn't help but feel as though they were more fitting of his current mindset, even if he wasn't quite sure what was going on with him.

The whole time Lafayette was preparing Alex's snack, the boy was sitting patiently on the floor, trying to catch glimpses of what his friend was doing. When he noticed Lafayette walking over to him with his "little" bowl and utensils, he squealed delightedly. He bounced in place as eagerness overtook him, and when Laf moved back towards the living room, he follwed.

The two of them settled on the couch, and Alex stared at the bowl of fruit hungrily. Still, he didn't make a move for the snack until Lafayette handed it to him. He then took the soft-tipped fork and got a slice of banana on it, eating it messily; he continued like this for all of two minutes before Lafayette decided he should step in. After all, the boy seemed to be getting more around his mouth than actually in it, and was probably still just as hungry as before.

"Alexander, why don't you give me the bowl and fork? I'll help you, mon ami." Alex's cheeks flushed, but he nodded and handed the bowl back over to his friend.

Shyly, Alex scooted closer to Lafayette and opened his mouth, waiting for his friend to get some of the fruit onto the fork. Once he did, the man lifted the fork to Alex's lips and fed him. Alex chewed, then swallowed, before giggling happily and waiting for more.

They continued this process until the bowl was finished, and then Lafayette stood and placed the bowl and cutlery in the sink. Alexander waited calmly for him to come back. When he did, he cleaned off Alex's face of the leftover fruit and praised the boy.

"What a very good boy, Alexander! You finished all of your fruit! Did you enjoy it?" The boy squealed and clapped, which Lafayette took as a yes. 

At that moment, the door unlocked and in walked John; he surveyed the scene a moment before realization took over. His eyes widened, and he rushed over to the pair of men. 

Alex practically launched himself into his boyfriend's arms, cuddling into him immediately. John petted his head, but stayed quiet for a few long, drawn out moments.

"So... what happened here?" He asked cautiously.

"Well, while Alexander and I were out, his father showed up again and said some very nasty things to him. I threatened him, I suppose, and then he left; Alex was very shaken up, and he has been this way ever since we arrived back here." He smiled down at the boy who was still wrapped around Laurens' torso.

"Hm, alright... and you've been watching over him for how long?"

"A couple of hours, probably. He has been watching television, and I just fed him a snack before you came home. I'm not sure what's going on, but he seems to be very dependent at the moment." Lafayette stated matter-of-factly.

"There is a reason for that, but I can't explain it to you until I've talked with Alex about it." John shot Lafayette an apologetic look.

"That's quite alright; I understand that this is most likely very personal." He reassured Laurens.

A small noise came from John's shirt, and hey looked down at Alex as he babbled again. John grinned affectionately and addressed his partner.

"Did you have fun with Lafayette, buddy? Were you a good boy?" Alex nodded both times, giggling and turning to Laf.

"Petted hair!" Lafayette was confused, but John seemed to know exactly what those words meant.

"Really? He petted your hair? That was very sweet of him, huh?" 

"Yeah! GiGi nice!" 

   Both men cooed at that, and John stood from the chair that Alex had knocked him into, taking hold of his partner's hand. 

"I think you're very hyper right now, huh? How about I put on something for you to watch in your room while you play?" His boyfriend nodded in agreement.

"Good boy! Okay, Laf, I'll be right back." John led Alexander out of the room after receiving a nod from the French man.

   After John set the regressed man up with his favorite movie and his toy chest, he told Alex to behave and promised to be back in a short while. Then, he went back out into the living room, where he found his friend sitting on the couch and scrolling through something on his phone. He looked up upon hearing John's footsteps enter the room.

"Thank you for watching him; I really appreciate it." His friend waved him off, reassuring him that it was not a problem.

"Again, I wish that I could tell you, but I really need to have Alex's permission for that."

"As I told you before, I understand, mon ami. There are no hard feelings here." The freckled man nodded gratefully.

   The two men switched topics after that, chatting about whatever came to their minds for another half hour before Lafayette decided he should go home. John walked him to the door, wishing him a good evening before the other man left.

   Laurens closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh; their secret was getting more difficult to keep from their closest friend, and he wasn't sure he even wanted to anymore. To Laurens, it was clear: It was time for a chat with his lover about moving forward.

————————————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Word count: 3,332)
> 
> Alright, everyone, finally there is an update for this story! This was the longest chapter I've ever written for anything; I had plans to continue it, but I feel as though it wouldn't have been as high-quality—if you can even call it that—as it has been up to this point. 
> 
> Anywho, I have plans for the next chapter, so hopefully I will be able to begin work on that soon (a.k.a. After I update "Those Nights,"  one of my other stories).
> 
> Also, sorry for the odd formatting. I have no clue how to fix that on the mobile website.


	6. Chapter Five: Explanations and Bad Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alex finally tell Lafayette their secret, and John had a bad day.

John and Alexander were finally taking a much-needed trip to the supermarket when John broke the peaceful silence between them.

"I really think that it is time to tell Lafayette." Alex stopped pushing the cart and looked over at his partner. A trace of fear passed through his eyes before disappearing, and he sighed.

"I know... I just get so worried about what could go wrong, J." Alex spoke quietly.

"Alex, I can almost guarantee that nothing will go wrong. He has watched over you before—multiple times—and even though he didn't know what was happening, he never once judged you. Am I right?" Laurens' boyfriend sighed heavily and nodded.

"I know, but my anxiety about this never goes away." His partner leaned into him and allowed the freckled man to wrap him in his arms.

"I'll be right here for you, okay?" Alex nodded an agreement, "So, we're doing this, then? We're going to tell him about us?" Hamilton was quiet for a few moments.

"Yes, we're going to tell him." John offered his love a smile before they continued shopping. 

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   Agreeing that they would tell Lafayette about their regression was entirely different than actually getting around to telling him.

   The two men got suspiciously busy with work at the same time. They both worked overtime most nights, and they came home only to immediately curl up to one another and pass out in bed until the time came to repeat the cycle. On some level, they both had a feeling that the pair's suddenly busy schedules were products of their nerves about the situation that loomed over them. 

   One night, the two men arrived at their flat at decent times, and they decided to make themselves a romantic dinner. They lit candles and set the table, then dimmed the lights. Their meal was delicious, but the couple was ever-aware of the impending conversation that they would have with their best friend. That particular night was a Wednesday, and they had invited Lafayette to come for dinner on Friday, where they would finally explain everything that had been going on with them.

   They had two days before the truth would finally come out. It would be too simple to say that the couple was feeling nervous: they were completely freaking out. They wished for time to pass by slower, but if anything, the hours flew by until it was finally half an hour before Lafayette was supposed to show up.

The two men were in the kitchen, making last minutes preparations to the meal and setup of the table, reassuring one another that the evening would go fine and that Lafayette wouldn't shun them. They switched the tv to a sappy Hallmark movie that they would swear up and down to hate, but then be sucked into not even five minutes later.

True to that statement, the men were cuddled up on the couch watching the movie as the meal sat on the stove to cool off. They were teasing one another for enjoying the movie when the sound of a heavy, confident knock flowed into the living room where they were.

Alex hopped up from the couch and skipped over to the door as Laurens went to the kitchen to begin doling out food onto the plates. Soon, the journalist walked in with the tall, curly-haired man. Laf had a wide, bright smile on his face as he strutted over to John and hugged him as a greeting. He assisted the freckled man in loading up the dishes with food and setting them on the table again.

The three talked about the usual things for a few minutes before they let the conversation lull into a moderately awkward silence. Alex was the one to break it with the clearing of his throat. His words were uttered shyly.

"So, Laf... you're probably pretty curious as to what's been going on with me recently." Lafayette nodded openly and set down his fork to show that he was listening attentively.

"Well, I don't exactly know how to word this, but John and I participate in something called 'age regression'. It's pretty much when someone's mind reverts back to a child-like state. It's used as a coping mechanism for a lot of people with mental disorders or PTSD, but some people just regress because they like it. It's completely nonsexual, and it has really helped the two of us feel better." Lafayette sat there silently for a few moments while he processed the information, then let a gentle smile come onto his face.

"So, all of these times when you have seemed more innocent and dependent was truly you regressing?" Alex confirmed his question with a nod. "Then, is John your caregiver? I would assume that a child is unable to be left alone, and you seemed quite comfortable with him a couple of weeks ago."

Alex laughed loudly as John glared at his partner. Laurens crossed his arms slightly and continued.

"No, Laf, I'm actually a regressor as well. We're comfortable with one another because we regress together and are kinda like siblings! Though, I must say, I am the best big brother you'll ever meet." 

"So," Lafayette started airily, "there are different ages, then?" Alex grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Like, when I'm feeling small, I'm around zero to three years old, while John normally stays in the two-year to five-year range. He's obsessed with his dinosaur plushie and his soft, yellow blanket, though, and he refuses to go anywhere without them!" Laurens' face lit up with a blush and he scowled at Alex for exposing him.

"Oh? So you have supplies, then. That's wonderful! What kind of things do you two enjoy doing when you're small?" John began kicking his legs in his chair as he answered first.

"I like coloring, watching cartoons, playing with my cars, cuddling, and baking! Baking is super fun—even though I'm not supposed to do it without supervision." He giggled out, causing Lafayette to offer him a bright smile.

"Very nice, John! Those sound like interesting hobbies! What about you, Alexander?"

"Well, since I'm younger, I generally feel clingier than John does, so I mostly like to cuddle. I can also get behind watching cartoons, building with blocks, and playing with anything that rattles or crinkles, though!" Alex seemed to get more confident in himself the more he went on, and by the end of his statement, his tone was loud and excited. 

Lafayette melted at both of his friends' words, and he ruffled the littles' hair across the table.

"Also very nice, Alex! Is there anything else I should be aware of?" The couple looked at one another and shrugged before John spoke one last time.

"Well, we try not to get small often because it can be really inconvenient sometimes, but a lot of the time when we push ourselves too hard to stay big, we crash into our headspaces embarrassingly and suddenly."

"Embarrassingly?" Lafayette questioned the man, and Alex was quick to answer so that his partner wouldn't have to.

"Well, sometimes there are accidents, and sometimes... there are breakdowns in public, like the past few times I've been small." 

"Oh, I see. How does this all work without a carer? After all, you both slip into the mindset of children at the same time, do you not?" Lafayette questioned the pair curiously with a slight tilt of the head.

Alex softly smiled at the French man.

"Like John mentioned, we try to take care of each other even when we're small. It all works out pretty well. Though, I must admit that it does get a bit difficult and lonely with just the two of us." Hamilton's boyfriend hummed in agreement from beside him and took hold of Alex's hand.

   Lafayette lit up with affection for his friends, and he stood from his seat to walk over to them. He squatted down beside them as they turned around, and he offered the pair a sweet smile once more.

"Well, if the two of you ever need or want help, I am but a call away! I would be honored to assist." Both men in front of him blushed, but assured him that they would keep it in mind for the future.

   The rest of the evening was peaceful, and the three men curled up together on the couch as a mew Hallmark movie began to play a cheesy movie that they hated to love.

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   The next Monday, John had to report to work early. He had just completed a case in which the children had to be removed from their home for their safety, and it had left him with a lot of paperwork and a heavy heart. He was passionate about his career, but it never made the job easier when it came to carrying a sobbing child away from their parent. 

   The freckled man sighed as he wrote the draft of his final report. He was just finishing up with the report and about to send it in to his boss when his coworker, Charles Lee, waltzed up to his desk with a cocky smirk on his face.

"So, I read your lover's article in the paper this morning. How do you feel being in a relationship with a liar?" John frowned slightly as he tilted his head.

"What are you talking about, Lee?" His frown deepened with his coworker's next words.

"Well, Johnny Boy, your partner wrote an article about the recent corruption and embezzlement scandal with the bank. He claimed that no one truly knows the original perpetrator, but come on. We all know that it was George Frederick. He's just trying to cover his own ass by leaving it anonymous—like a coward." 

   John shook with rage at his colleague's harsh accusations. He knew his partner better than anyone in the world, and he knew that Alex was anything but a cowardly liar. His voice trembled as he replied to the man in front of him.

"My partner is nothing short of perfection in my eyes. If you want to start drama, why don't you go confront Tracy about her obvious hair extensions." Charles was taken aback by Laurens's snappy comeback. He huffed and turned on his heel before leaving. 

   John took a seat again, not remembering having stood in the first place. He turned around in his chair and gazed at the framed photo of him and Alex on their one-year-anniversary date. They both wore brilliant smiles and looked at the camera with such contentness that the feeling seemed to radiate through into the real world. The freckled man reached out and gently caressed the picture before he shoved the argument to the back of his mind and continued his work.

————————————————

   It had taken a few more hours for Laurens to finally clock out for the day. He was physically and mentally exhausted after the hellish day he had, and he couldn't wait to get home, make some soup, and curl up on the couch with a cheesy rom-com on the television.

   He unlocked the door to his and Alex's shared flat with a sigh and entered. The man kicked off his shoes at the door and realized that his partner was likely working late again; he would be on his own. Normally, he wouldn't mind being by himself for this amount of time, but he was truly craving affection from his love, and the fact that he couldn't have any was upsetting him far more than it should have.

   Laurens went to make himself a quick bowl of soup and turned on the tv to drown out the overwhelming silence of the apartment. As the timer wound down, John's mind drifted to the events of the day until, finally, they halted on the argument between Lee and himself. He couldn't believe that his coworker would say such cruel things about the person he cared for most in the world. It brought tears to his eyes, and his mind began to race with questions about whether or not everyone saw Alex as Lee did. 

   John's soup lay abandoned in the microwave,  and it cooled considerably as the curly-haired man backed himself into a corner of the kitchenette with labored breath and tears running steadily down his cheeks. He knew with every fiber of his being that Alex was a good person, and that he had never intentionally harmed anyone. He couldn't wrap his head around how someone could see him any differently than John himself did: it boggled his mind. More silent tears flowed freely down his face as he registered the sound of their front door being opened.

His head whipped up as Lafayette's clear, light voice drifted over to John's corner, and he watched as the taller man came into the kitchen. The French man's smile immediately dropped from his face and he rushed over to kneel in front of his freckled friend. He reached a hand out for John's slowly enough that the other man would have enough time to move away, but Laurens desperately grabbed onto Lafayette's hand as his cries increased in volume.

"Shhh, shh, you're alright John. I'm here now; it's all okay." Gilbert sat down in front of the boy and opened his arms wide. His friend practically leaped into his arms and accepted the warm embrace as he settled himself into Lafayette's lap.

Lafayette rocked the man back and forth in a soothing motion as they sat on the ground with John clutching his shirt tightly enough to make the former believe that it was the only thing keeping him together. Little by little, Laurens calmed down and was left with nothing but shaky breaths and dried tear tracks. He suckled on his thumb for comfort—he wasn't sure when he had regressed, but it hit him full force as he curled in on himself further.

The pair stayed blissfully quiet for a some long moments, but John gabe a whine when he began to get a post-cry headache. Lafayette pulled back to see what was wrong and noted the thumb-sucking, but he pushed that aside as he went to figure out what the boy needed.

"Are you okay, mon ami? Can I do anything for you?" John simply pointed to his head with a whimper and left Laf to fill in the blanks. After several seconds, the French man lit up with realization and moved to stand with the boy still attached to him. He shifted his regressed friend onto his hip and supported his bum with a strong arm as he went to fetch some pain medication.

After gently guiding John to take the medicine—it took some real persuasion, as little John couldn't stand taking pills—Lafayette carried him to the living room couch and settled him on it. He left the room for a few moments and returned not even a minute later with his hands behind his back. The naurally curious regressed boy tried to peek around his companion's body to see what he was hiding, but he couldn't get a good glimpse of it. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long to find out what it was, because Lafayette walked over to him and pulled a decently-sized stuffed polar bear out from behind his back. 

John's eyes widened with glee as he reached out for the soft toy. Gilbert handed the plushie to his friend and smiled affectionately. 

"Do you like it, bub? I thought you and Alex deserved gifts for trusting me with your secret." John's eyes gleamed as he beamed at the other.

"Love it, Laf! Thank you!" 

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now, would you like to talk about what I walked in on?" He didn't figure that he would get much information out of John in this state, but he figured that he would try regardless.

"Charles was a big meanie today! He said bad things 'bout Alex, but they weren't true! I just got sad that people would see bubba like that 'cuz he's a good person..." Lafayette nodded in agreement.

"Alexander is a very good person, yes. As long as you know that, then there is no importance in Charles' words." The regressed boy nodded resolutely as he unconsciously played with the stuffed bear's ears. 

"Yeah! Lee's just a dumb-butt, right, Laf?" Lafayette chuckled at his friend's choice of words.

"That's right, little one," Laurens preened at the nickname. "Now, what are you going to name your new friend?" The freckled boy got a look of concentration on his face before he excitedly shouted out that the toy would be dubbed "Sugar". 

"That's a very good name, John! I can't wait to see what Alex will name his teddy bear." Laurens went wide-eyed again and bounced on the couch restlessly. 

"Alex got a bear, too? Can I see?" His friend laughed and nodded, then went to fetch the yellow-golden teddy bear.

Upon seeing the toy, John squealed with delight.

"He's gonna love it so much! He'll never let go of it!" 

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see, huh, bub?" 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2,874
> 
> A shorter chapter compared to the last two, but on the bright side, I finally updated! I don't actually hate this chapter, and I hope you all feel that it was worth the wait! Thank you for your patience with me and my sporadic updates.


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